Thoughts on Life in China (and more pictures)

I realized that last blog entry was somewhat unfinished. After the great effort I put in to get the pictures posted (not the easiest with a slow internet connection), I just published and went to bed.

I sent my mother an email asking her impressions of China. I thought it would be interesting to hear what she has to say now that she has had a chance to go back home. While she was here, she reiterated her belief that Kunming is a very nice city many times, but vastly different from anything she had experienced before. She also commented that I had grown up some and changed. I think mostly what she meant was that I've moved away from my social butterfly tendencies and have become ok and comfortable spending my time alone at home, reading and relaxing.

That's something that I've thought about a bit lately. I'm finally starting to make a good set of friends, or rather several sets. I'm meeting more and more people that I really like and it is frustrating to realize that I basically have two more weeks left in Kunming, after my business trip and the quick trip to Princeton. It is hard to always be making sets of friends and then moving to a new place. I'm trying to maintain the attitude of being ok with the here today, gone tomorrow, enjoy the time we have and don't have any regrets. But when I move away from Kunming, that will make three sets of friends that I've left behind. I'm thrilled to have had the honor to get to know each and every one of them, but tonight for the first time I've started to feel the pangs of regret. Despite how thrilled I am to go traveling (and I am - I think about it all the time. I am always flipping through Lonely Planet, planning my packing list and budget, shopping for a small backpack, etc), I kind of wish that I could just stay in Kunming and pursue the life and friendships I'm making here. Another manifestation of being ready to settle down at college. There was a time not too long ago that I could not see myself at college, staying in one place with one set of people for four long years. I'm not losing my adventurous side, don't worry. I'm just starting to value the settled down life a bit more and am looking forward to getting on with it when I get back. Listen to me, I'm a walking example of how gap years prepare you to better appreciate college. If only I could have expressed this convincingly back when trying to convince my parents to let me do this year, maybe it wouldn't have been such a struggle.

Well, to finish the last post, Mom and I had a blast together in Kunming. As you can see from the pictures, we did quite a bit of walking around the city. We ate lots and lots of Chinese food, including hot pot (my personal favorite), dumplings, tie ban (sizzling platter - I usually go for beef), fish flavored pork pieces (yu xiang rou si), Korean...oh and of course ice cream from Salvador’s. We went to the Bird and Flower market and my market place and the Buddhist temple and the zoo. We even had green tea by the Green Lake one evening. Mom stuck to me like glue, she was terrified of getting lost. She even came with me to work and spent the time fiddling around on her computer and reading. I hope I didn't bore her too much! I had more faith in her survival skills and wanted to her to try to navigate the city on her own, but it never happened. And then I remembered my first three days in Kunming with Dragons and never wanting to go anywhere by myself. It is so easy when you are with other people who know the city to just tune out and follow them everywhere instead of paying attention and figuring the city out. It took me a little while to gain my confidence and have any desire to venture outwards on my own. Of course, I couldn't be more different now (perhaps resulting in getting lost in Jishou).

Mom took off Thursday afternoon for Hong Kong where she was to meet Dad for a night and then head back to America. Saying goodbye was harder than I anticipated. No matter how long I spend living by myself, and no matter how much fun I am having, I don't think I'll ever stop missing having a family nearby. Having my mother around just reinforced how much I really miss her and the family and home. No amount of freedom or adventures and experiences can replace living at home, and at least to this point, make me feel like an adult. It is a conundrum, really. I've been bitten by the travel bug and will want to get away as often as the opportunity arises, but my favorite part of traveling will always be returning home to the people I love and relating my adventures.

After Mom went home, I took it easy for a day or so, cleaned the apartment and reorganized my life. And then Friday I took off a little early from work and spent 4 hours wandering around the city. I started at the Bird and Flower market and just started walking in a direction I hadn't been before. I found Chinese neighborhoods and walking streets and even a park complete with birds in big cages, benches, and mahjong tables where I read for a little while, until it was time for my 8:00 PM yoga class. That night at yoga, one of the women that I had always seen decided to befriend me even though she didn't speak a word of English and I'm pretty sure she knew I'm far from proficient in Chinese. She was adorable. I think she is sort of the center of the social network at my gym, and she dragged me around introducing to everyone - the other women in the class, other trainers.. She made me go to the weight lifting room with her and go on the vibrating machine. It is a machine that you stand on and it violently vibrates, shaking your fat out supposedly. I always inwardly laughed at everyone else that used it, so you can imagine how hard it was to keep a straight face as she made me stand there and vibrate. She always made me weight lift with her, apparently to make our thighs and butt shrink and to get warmed up for yoga. She was full of energy (even though she goes to class every single day - exhausting. I've long since given that up) and even though she confided in me that she is 50 years old, she had very childish mannerisms. This is true of most Chinese people, especially if they've never left the country. There is something very childish and usually endearing about them. My friend Steve is of Chinese descent, but from California and you can tell at first glance that he isn't a local. A little the way he dresses (and of course the way he talks) but mostly just the way he carries himself and behaves. I digress - it was great fun to finally make a friend at yoga. I haven't been since (I went to a different yoga class today), but I am looking forward to going back on Monday. After yoga, I treated myself to some late night xiao kao (I actually have no idea how to spell that) at the night market by my apartment that only comes out after 10:00 PM. While sitting at a table outside enjoying my kebabs and noodles, three Chinese girls a little younger than me sat down and we eventually started talking. One of the first things they asked me/commented on what how I much have tons of Chinese boys trying to be my boyfriend. They kept practicing what they wanted to say to me, then there would be silence, and then the middle one would blurt it out. I heard them whispering about "excuse me, would you like to have a taste?" before finally one of them shoved a plate toward me and said "taste!" and then broke down laughing. It was good fun and now we have plans to go dancing at the Speak Easy at some point in the future. Refreshed me faith in the city to offer endless experiences. If you are bored in Kunming, it is because you aren't friendly or don't like warm weather.

I have more adventures from this weekend to write about, but I think this entry is more than long enough. I think I'll end with some pictures from a dinner party I had a little while ago with some Chinese friends of mine in my apartment.


This is Ada - the was the brains behind the operation. She cooked, or at least directed the cooking of, most of the dishes.


I was the assistant chef and could only offer modest dishes to the spread...like fruit.


And this is the food! There were 5 dishes. My contributions were: dragon fruit with honey, cut up bananas and strawberries mixed together, and stir fried green beans (which were actually quite delicious!). The biggest plate to the right was a mixture of various veggies like cabbage and peppers with chao er kuai and pork and the other main dish was slices of eggplant stuffed with ground pork and spices, dipped in a cornstarch mixture, and deep fried. It was Chinese food at its finest (or at least most delicious!)


The beneficiaries of our cooking.


The tall American is Ben - he was in Dragons last semester with me. Of all the people that I am around now, I've known him the longest. This was when we were full and happy from dinner and about to start the karaoke singing to the American pop music they found on my computer (Of course, I have no idea how that music got there. Really.).