Going out with the locals and Chinese customs

I think what I like most about this place and what I do here is how easy it is to make friends. The Chinese are incredibly friendly people (as I have pointed out many a time in previous posts), especially to foreigners. I like to study in the exchange - the common room at my language school. The language school is for both students wanting to learn Chinese and wanting to learn English, so there is always an abundance of English students wanting to talk to practice their English on the foreign students. A few nights ago, while studying with Lisa, we met a very nice man named Jerry while talking to his English teacher, William. William encouraged us to go to dinner with Jerry because he is the "hot pot master" (as in, he knows exactly what to order and how to properly eat hot pot), so we now have a hot pot date with Jerry. We've also met others - a friendly and curious waiter at a noodle restaurant who is now taking us out tonight for karaoke and disco. Also, the other day we had lunch in a filthy local restaurant by the canal that runs by our language school. The food is about as good as I've ever had and most meals average out at about 3 kuai (about 40 cents). It's always packed, so you have to share tables with other people - a brilliant device for meeting people. We befriended the local who shared a table with us. The lunch was a lot of fun. He helped us order, allowing us to try different dishes than the handful we know how to say in Chinese, bought us drinks, toasted us endlessly, and treated us to the lunch. To make up for it, we now have a lunch date with him for tomorrow afternoon where we will treat him. I've also gone out a few times with Michelle, Pat, and Pat's language exchange partner - a middle aged married man with unlimited energy and enthusiasm for Chinese cuisine. He loves to take us places and show us off like we are his Chinese speaking foreigners and he loves to talk about Chinese traditions to us. Unbelievable how many unspoken codes there are. For example, I always knew that you were never suppose to stick your chopsticks straight up and down in your bowl of food because when the Chinese put food out for their dead, that's how they would leave the chopsticks, so the motion represents death. I found out that it is also impolite to leave them in or on your bowl in any way at all, but that you should place them on a smaller plate next to your bowl, perpendicular to the edge of the table. It is better to have the end of your chopsticks just inside the table than sticking out over the edge, but best is to have the edge of the table perfectly even with the end of the chopsticks. Also, I have been told that you should leave a little bit of food in your bowl. If you eat everything, it is like saying that there wasn't enough food and after years of starvation, there is no greater compliment than to say that your host has provided more than enough food. However, it turns out that if you are a guest at someone's house, you should finish all the food put in front of you and be sure to emphasize how full you are and how you can't eat another bite. If you leave anything behind, the host will assume the food isn't good - so eat all your food and drink all your alcohol! A huge part of Chinese culture is their food, maybe more so than any other nationality. A meal is meant to be social, one of the reasons why the Chinese love their hot pot. You can sit for hours eating hot pot, all you have to do is keep putting food into it to be cooked, so you can sit and chat for hours as well. Also, if you are with someone and they aren't enjoying their food, it will ruin your meal. The other person's happiness is key to a good meal. Using two hands is a sign of respect, so when presenting a business card, handing over a pot of tea, or toasting someone that you respect, you MUST use two hands. Toasting deserves a whole different paragraph because there are endless rules about toasting. If you respect the person, you must clink their glass so that your glass is lower than theirs and you must empty your glass. The VIP at the table will be toasted individually by everyone else - the VIP only has to sip his/her drink, but the toasters must down a full glass. And the toasters must always start with more liquid in their glass. "Gam Bei!" actually means "Empty Glass!" so technically whenever that is said, you have to empty your glass. However, in more casual situations, it is okay to toast and then only take a sip of your drink and thank goodness for that as the Chinese drink of choice is something called bai jiu - hard liquor with an alcohol content of some 57% (literally translates to "white alcohol"). In order to be an active businessman or involved with the government, you have to be able to hold your liquor!! Thankfully, as a girl and a foreigner, I am excused from this custom, so I usually politely sip my tea in the corner and let the boys handle the heavy drinking. I think that just about covers it - if anyone has any other questions about Chinese customs, feel free to comment. I've got multiple meals' worth of information stored away.